Freedom is a great concept. It is a key constituent of peace and prosperity. A free man is a fulfilled man.
Chains of Law
Fugitives experience chains on them for limited periods of time.
Imagine a robber arrested for looting a bank. He will be bound for a few years in prison, in line with Legal Postulates and later he will be set free to return back to the world. Our legal system does not punish anyone indefinitely. There is a finite period of time for being bound by law. Afterall, prison system is called “correction facility” and not “punishment facility”.
Tied in Marriage
Being bound in Marriage is a lifelong sentence.
(Image Credit: Lian Chang)
After the initial period of courting and honeymoons, many men consider their wives to be a punishment from Society and vice versa.
This results from the Man and the Woman not attempting to realise who they are, before the wedding. Our apparent sense of freedom, choice and free will are often compromised in a marriage.
Beings who understand life and then find freedom in marriage are blessed. Marriage is an opportunity to express life and celebrate union of two becoming one. Marriage relationships are very subtle in nature. Like a fine piece of satin, marriage must be treated with a lot of love and care. Else, the fine fabric of this holy relationship starts to wear and tear.
“All said and done…”
I am a Single Male at the time of writing this article (Early September 2016). You may excuse my ignorance of experiential marital affairs. I speak from what I observe in the world around me and also based on Wisdom from Chanakya Sutra (Chatper 2: Sloka 69 to 73).
The Soft and Subtle Attachment
A wife creates an attachment to the world using love, comforts and desires. It is a rather soft and pleasing form of attachment compared to the crude attachments of the manifest material world.
The Man who understands that he is being attached to the world in a soft manner has an upper hand over life, than him who is just not aware. Actions and attitudes that work in terms of transcending this attachment, will serve a married man well.
Chanakya says a wife of great qualities and purity really helps her man attain Moksha.
Such a lady can encourage her man and motivate him to do those actions that are truly beneficial for him. This focuses his activities on things and ideas that truly elevate the family. This lady will also be working on her own elevation into greater states of being. Children born to such a couple are very fortunate and blessed. They learn values by observing their parents much before exposure to Scriptures and Sciences.
Man and Wife went Wrong
A wife is considered to be half of a man’s body. If her behaviour and tendencies are bad, the man suffers its consequences as well.
The number of broken families in our society is huge. Even though, couples who understand and respect wisdom is on the rise, their proportion is tiny compared to those that don’t think about wisdom.
Competition between husband and wife, comparison of wealth, social status, beauty, influence and such puts a lot of pressure between the man and the woman. With Social Media and Private Chat applications, it is easier to get tempted with adultery and exploration of other mates as well. This presents a dangerous scenario.
We do not say that talking to other people is bad. Interaction and mingling with opposite sex is in fact a very healthy thing. That helps maintaining your vigour and keeps your happiness levels high. Nature did not create appreciation for beauty in opposite sex to be forcefully controlled. I subscribe to the western ideas of “Alpha Male” and “Alpha Female” who are sought after by people of their opposite sex. They know where to draw firm lines. In many relationships, the line is blurred or not evident. It happens due to ignorance.
A wicked wife, a stubborn friend, a servant who argues with you and a snake in a house are sure causes of death, so says Chanakya.
Observe each other. Don’t Judge
Chanakya suggests to be detached and to observe your wife.
By observing a woman closely on how she talks, how she reacts to different situations, how she handles challenges, how she fails and return to address big challenges will help us gain true and subtle knowledge.
Often we are so full of ourselves that we fail to observe the world around us closely. We only know what we want right now. The next moment, our mind goes behind a new want. Many of us do not have the capacity to observe closely. The observation of who we are and who our partner is, will yield a lot of key insights about our family life.
Marriage is afterall a beautiful concept that lasted for millennia in our culture. There should be some wisdom that guides the successful couples navigate life. Are we finding that wisdom?